Are Your Relationships Making You Fat?

By Carolyn Flynn

By Carolyn Almendarez

One of the most vulnerable dangers for gaining unwanted excess weight is relationship conflict.

Relationship conflict is any form of friction, discord, struggle, incompatibility, dissonance, disagreement, argument, or debate between two people.

Anyone who’s had a fight or argument with their spouse or significant other knows first hand the spiral of highly charged negative thoughts, feelings and actions that often follow in response to the environmental stressor or person you are engaging with.

The negative thoughts and emotions from relationship conflict can trigger emotional eating, stress-eating, and sleep deprivation. They can also hog up a lot of emotional and psychological energy impairing your ability to think clearly and work productively.

A single conflict can trigger an avalanche of unhealthy reactions in your thoughts and behaviors, and trigger a cascade of stress-reactions within your body, all of which will contribute to impaired sleep, poor eating habits, increased weight, and decreased work performance and productivity.

In your emotional pain you might turn to Ben and Jerry, Orville Redenbacher, or the Red Baron to soothe your emotional wounds. While these men might give you some temporary comfort, they will also leave you with a lot of unwanted baggage that’s hard to get rid of.

Emotional eating can compound the negative effects of relationship conflict with additional feelings of guilt and negativity about yourself and your body for indulging in high-fat, sugary or processed foods.

In addition, women tend to think in terms of relationships, so it is especially unsettling and distracting to our minds and thought processes when there is conflict in our primary relationships.

But what happens physiologically when you experience relationship conflict?

When you have conflict with your spouse, significant other, or other important relationship your body triggers the internal emergency stress-response system, physically preparing you to fight or flee the danger-provoking situation. But most relationship conflicts are emotional and verbal, not physical. So what does this mean?

When the body detects any kind of perceived threat or stress it triggers a cascade of emergency hormonal and neurotransmitter signals sending your blood and energy to your outer limbs and increasing the production and storage of fat so that you have plenty of energy to fight or flee the stress-producing situation.

The whole stress-response process is designed to give the body the maximum amount of fuel and energy to fight or flee. This was a great survival technique when we were up against saber-toothed tigers and wooly mammoths. But our modern society of constant emotional and psychological stress requires a clear thinking mind to resolve the stressors, not extra fat for fuel.

So the more stress you are under the more fat your body is producing and retaining in an effort to protect you from the perceived threats and dangers. Relationship conflict always triggers the stress-response system and the production of extra fat. Professional women are especially vulnerable to stress-related weight gain from professional and personal relationship conflicts.

Balancing work and relationships can be an emotional challenge for the success driven professional woman. Conflict, arguments, not feeling heard, and lack of support from your spouse or significant other can really put a strain on your love life, your business success, and your weight.

In the SMART Relationship Communication program I walk you though the steps to resolve relationship conflict, get your feelings heard, and build trust and intimacy in your relationship. All of these processes provide ways to de-stress and give your body the all-clear message to release unwanted excess weight.

No one is immune to the affects of relationship conflict and stress, but with training and practice you can minimize the negative impact they can have on your life, relationships, waistline, and business. The SMART Relationship Communication program teaches you the skills and tools to vanquish the negative effects of relationship conflict.

The SMART Relationship Communication Program will not only help you to prevent excessive weight gain, but it can help you improve your sleep, improve your eating patterns, and most importantly improve your relationships.

Go to to learn more and start improving your waistline and relationships today!

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Carolyn Flynn is a Relationship Expert and author of Heal Your Grief, SMART Talk, and Holiday Peace And Joy.

Relationship Strengthening Affirmations

By Carolyn Flynn

Everything we say and do is an affirmation of our life. Negative statements and feelings affirm and reinforce the negative beliefs and circumstances of our life. While positive statements and feelings affirm and reinforce the positive.

When you repeat a positive statement with the accompanying positive emotion and belief your brain registers that experience as being true. This reinforces your thoughts, emotions, and beliefs, which in turn triggers your actions and responses.

“It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen.” – Claude M. Bristol

It’s important to activate both the positive thought and the positive feeling behind your intention if you want to create something different than what you are currently experiencing. Thoughts are the language of your brain and feelings are the language of your body, together they create the reality of your life’s experiences. Activated together they can create change.

“When you hold clear, focused thoughts about your purpose, accompanied by your passionate emotional engagement, you broadcast a stronger electromagnetic signal that pulls you toward a potential reality that matches what you want.”
– Dr. Joe Dispenza, author of “Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself”


Positive affirmations, which are positive declarations of what you desire, can be used to strengthen and create positive qualities in your relationship. Read the affirmations below, or create your own, to create the relationship you desire.

10 Affirmations for Strengthening Loving, Joyful, and Intimate Relationships

(Click the hearts to Tweet the affirmations)

love heart relationshipI am in a loving and supportive relationship.


love heart relationshipMy spouse hears and understands my needs.


love heart relationshipI communicate clearly and effectively with my partner.


love heart relationshipEach and every day my love grows stronger in many ways.


love heart relationshipI forgive the past and move forward with joy and love.


love heart relationshipI am sexually fulfilled in a passionate, loving, intimate relationship.


love heart relationshipEach day is a new adventure to learn and grow together.


love heart relationshipAs I take the time to nurture myself I nurture and strengthen my relationship.


love heart relationshipMy relationship is filled with abundance and prosperity.


love heart relationshipPeace, joy, and love abound in my relationship.


Affirming the positive, loving relationship you want on a daily basis with a clear intention and feeling will strengthen your relationship and help you create the partnership you desire.

By Carolyn Almendarez

I want to hear from you. What are your favorite relationship affirmations? Share in the comments below.

Carolyn Flynn is a Relationship Expert and author of Heal Your Grief, SMART Talk, and Holiday Peace And Joy.