Are Your Relationships Making You Fat?

By Carolyn Flynn

By Carolyn Almendarez

One of the most vulnerable dangers for gaining unwanted excess weight is relationship conflict.

Relationship conflict is any form of friction, discord, struggle, incompatibility, dissonance, disagreement, argument, or debate between two people.

Anyone who’s had a fight or argument with their spouse or significant other knows first hand the spiral of highly charged negative thoughts, feelings and actions that often follow in response to the environmental stressor or person you are engaging with.

The negative thoughts and emotions from relationship conflict can trigger emotional eating, stress-eating, and sleep deprivation. They can also hog up a lot of emotional and psychological energy impairing your ability to think clearly and work productively.

A single conflict can trigger an avalanche of unhealthy reactions in your thoughts and behaviors, and trigger a cascade of stress-reactions within your body, all of which will contribute to impaired sleep, poor eating habits, increased weight, and decreased work performance and productivity.

In your emotional pain you might turn to Ben and Jerry, Orville Redenbacher, or the Red Baron to soothe your emotional wounds. While these men might give you some temporary comfort, they will also leave you with a lot of unwanted baggage that’s hard to get rid of.

Emotional eating can compound the negative effects of relationship conflict with additional feelings of guilt and negativity about yourself and your body for indulging in high-fat, sugary or processed foods.

In addition, women tend to think in terms of relationships, so it is especially unsettling and distracting to our minds and thought processes when there is conflict in our primary relationships.

But what happens physiologically when you experience relationship conflict?

When you have conflict with your spouse, significant other, or other important relationship your body triggers the internal emergency stress-response system, physically preparing you to fight or flee the danger-provoking situation. But most relationship conflicts are emotional and verbal, not physical. So what does this mean?

When the body detects any kind of perceived threat or stress it triggers a cascade of emergency hormonal and neurotransmitter signals sending your blood and energy to your outer limbs and increasing the production and storage of fat so that you have plenty of energy to fight or flee the stress-producing situation.

The whole stress-response process is designed to give the body the maximum amount of fuel and energy to fight or flee. This was a great survival technique when we were up against saber-toothed tigers and wooly mammoths. But our modern society of constant emotional and psychological stress requires a clear thinking mind to resolve the stressors, not extra fat for fuel.

So the more stress you are under the more fat your body is producing and retaining in an effort to protect you from the perceived threats and dangers. Relationship conflict always triggers the stress-response system and the production of extra fat. Professional women are especially vulnerable to stress-related weight gain from professional and personal relationship conflicts.

Balancing work and relationships can be an emotional challenge for the success driven professional woman. Conflict, arguments, not feeling heard, and lack of support from your spouse or significant other can really put a strain on your love life, your business success, and your weight.

In the SMART Relationship Communication program I walk you though the steps to resolve relationship conflict, get your feelings heard, and build trust and intimacy in your relationship. All of these processes provide ways to de-stress and give your body the all-clear message to release unwanted excess weight.

No one is immune to the affects of relationship conflict and stress, but with training and practice you can minimize the negative impact they can have on your life, relationships, waistline, and business. The SMART Relationship Communication program teaches you the skills and tools to vanquish the negative effects of relationship conflict.

The SMART Relationship Communication Program will not only help you to prevent excessive weight gain, but it can help you improve your sleep, improve your eating patterns, and most importantly improve your relationships.

Go to to learn more and start improving your waistline and relationships today!

Valentine’s bonus gift with purchase disappears on February 14, 2014 midnight Pacific Time

Carolyn Flynn is a Relationship Expert and author of Heal Your Grief, SMART Talk, and Holiday Peace And Joy.

Are You Reaching Your Goals?

By Carolyn Flynn

The beginning of the new year is always full of enthusiasm and commitment for change and transformation. But good intentions and desires often get derailed with the passing of time. Old patterns and habits sneak in and sabotage well-meaning efforts.

Here are three easy tips I have found to keep your intentions on track to make your desired goals a reality.

1. Take Baby Steps.

There’s an old saying, “How do you eat an elephant?” The answer, “One bite at a time.” The same is true with achieving goals. The number one derailment to achieving goals is that your goal is too big. Now I’m not saying don’t have big goals. Big dreams need big goals to achieve them. But once you have your big goal in mind, break it down into tiny bite size achievable goals.

For example, if your goal is to lose 30 lbs; then focus on losing 1 lb and repeat that goal 30 times until you’ve reached your 30 lb weight loss goal. Striving to lose 1 lb is a lot easier than trying to lose 30 lbs. By taking baby steps you are more likely to achieve your goal, and less likely to get derailed by overwhelm, frustration, and lack of seeing immediate results.

2. Create Habits That Support Your Goals.

Habits create success, and all successful people follow habits, or daily routines, that support the end results they want to have in their life. Creating daily routines and rituals comprised of baby step actions form habits, these give you clear action steps to focus on and repeat to help you successfully achieve your goal.

So if your goal is to lose 30 lbs, you might develop the habit of exercising 20 minutes every day, or the habit of eating salad with your dinner, or drinking water instead of soda. These habits are all baby step actions that will help you to achieve your ultimate goal of losing 30 lbs.

3. Visualize Success.

Use your imagination to visually imagine yourself achieving your desired goal. Goal imagery helps you to imagine, feel, and mentally experience yourself achieving the end result you desire. You can also use it to help determine what your baby steps and habits should be as you imagine yourself going from where you are now to where you want to be. This powerful practice communicates to your brain and body this is who I want to be and what I want to achieve, helping you to create the habits, thoughts, and actions that will lead you to successfully accomplishing your goal.

So if your goal is to lose 30 lbs you could imagine yourself exercising, eating well and feeling good about yourself. You could visualize yourself 30 lbs slimmer and experience how that would feel and how your life would be different when you’ve achieved your goal. Visualizing your progress and achievement of your goal helps the goal to stay achievable in your mind keeping you committed and motivated to succeed.
By following these three simple guidelines you can make this year the year you achieve all of your New Year’s resolutions.

If losing weight is on your New Year’s list of resolutions I invite you to get additional tips by joining me in attending my Free Teleseminar: “3 Common Dangers Even Smart Professional Women Face That Keep Them Struggling With Unwanted Weight Gain”.

In this free course you will discover three common dangers that are packing on the pounds and keeping you from releasing your unwanted weight, and time efficient solutions and strategies for resolving them.

Click here to learn more and register

Make 2014 the year you achieve all of your goals!

Carolyn Almendarez

Flickr photo by Alan Cleaver

Carolyn Flynn is a Relationship Expert and author of Heal Your Grief, SMART Talk, and Holiday Peace And Joy.